Last week I posted about six of my favorite non-scale victories for when motivation wanes, but I left out my favorite: emotional growth.
When my clients sign up for online personal training with me, we take a holistic approach. Of course there’s a workout program and nutrition plan but we focus greatly on mindset because it is the foundation of overall health and wellness.
Without a positive mindset and/ or growth mindset, success is less likely and less sustainable. And that is why emotional growth is the greatest measurement of success.
How do we know we have grown? Here are five signs of emotional growth we can look for:
1. You’re able to take pause and act, rather than react.
When things are difficult we tend to respond or react without a lot of consideration. It’s knee-jerk. This can be detrimental because what is automated isn’t always in our best interest. We may be in fight or flight mode and our response will be the thing that makes us feel better immediately, but does not take the future self into consideration.
For example, let’s say your husband said something to you that upset you. Maybe he made a comment like “are you sure you want to wear those shorts?” and it made you feel insecure and upset at him. Rather than yelling at him or crying about it, you are now able to take pause and realize he did not mean it personally and he isn’t worried about the cellulite on your thighs, but wants to make sure you are comfortable.
We have won a huge battle when we can take pause then determine how we care to ACT in a mindful way rather than simply reacting in response.
2. You had a different, healthier response to a trigger.
Something in your life happened and instead of immediately going to your habit you were able to respond in a new way. This takes pausing then responding from a place of mindfulness, as I mentioned previously, but now it’s about HOW you respond.
Maybe grabbing wine has always been your go-to after a tough day at work, but now you have learned to decompress on your ride home and instead of grabbing take out and wine, you have the space to zone out making dinner.
Or perhaps you are out on the weekend with friends and you see all of them drinking and instead of just grabbing a seltzer with them because they are drinking, you realize you don’t even want or need a drink and you pour a glass of iced tea instead.
Now, not only do you have the space between the trigger and your response, but you are also making a choice that is in alignment with your goals and the person you want to be.
3. You got out of your comfort zone.
Doing something new is hard. Our brains think anything that is unfamiliar is unsafe and could kill us so when we take on something new, we have to fight ourselves. Not only that, but we have to create new neurological pathways, even for the most simple tasks like relocating where our favorite pair of shoes gets stored in the closet.
If something as simple as moving a pair of shoes is complicated, showing up for a new class at the gym or trying a new recipe is even harder! But trying new things is so important for mental growth, stimulation and building confidence.
When we do the same things over and over it’s easy to get stuck in a rut and it makes trying new things harder, so start small and build. I had a client once who was struggling to go to her basement in the morning to workout. So for a week all she did was wake up at 6am instead of 7am. In that hour she could do whatever she wanted. Then we moved her into waking up at 6am and journaling and meditating. Then we moved her into the basement to move in any capacity, and finally we moved her into the formal workouts.
It required her building the confidence to see she could do the new task. But, there’s a caveat to that. If you set a small goal and you don’t accomplish it, you are telling yourself you cannot be trusted and that hurts your confidence. So when it comes to this stuff, start small and build, like my client did.
4. You trusted yourself.
As I mentioned previously, trying new things is scary and really hard. But as you grow, doing new things becomes easier and maybe you realized that you simply trusted yourself to make the right decision without having to over plan or be really prepared.
Recently, I had a client change jobs and relocate. A few months ago she had to spend a lot of mental energy planning her meals and preparing for how she would handle herself in stressful situations, social settings and on weekends when she was out of her routine.
In the midst of the move, things didn’t go as planned and she just had to go and when she would eat, it was always on a whim. She didn’t have a kitchen to make all of her normal meals, she spent some nights at other peoples’ homes and nothing was routine. But she was able to let go and just trust she’d make good decisions and she did. She was eating protein with each meal, some kind of veggie or fruit 3-4 times a day and didn’t cope with stress by eating.
I know how scary it was for me the first time I went on vacation and didn’t pack protein shakes, RX bars and greens powder to live on. I just let go and allowed myself to make the best choices for myself each day and it was great! This kind of trust builds so much confidence and shows immense growth.
5. You set and upheld your boundaries.
Speaking of scary, setting boundaries can be another frightening thing at first. But boundaries help protect your emotional and mental health. Boundaries help you prevent burnout as you set limits on your time and energy. And boundaries encourage positive behaviors in yourself and others. It takes courage to set them and even more to uphold them, which is a huge sign of growth.
When you set the boundary with yourself and others that you will leave work at 5pm to hit the gym, and uphold that, you are showing a sign of growth. When you set the boundary that you will not be making two dinners and your family can join you in eating meat and vegetables each night, that is a huge sign of growth.
No matter which sign(s) of growth you really lean into, they are truly signs of success, so be on the lookout for which you are great at, and work to be great at others as well.
Which of these signs resonate most with you? Leave a comment below!
Your Coach,
Kyra
P.S. If you are looking for a coach that will assist with your emotional growth, find out more about options to work with me at KyraWilliamsFitness.com/signup