Why I Am the Way I Am: A Personal Story of Body Image, Fat Loss, and Finding Balance
I don’t often use this space to talk about myself. I usually prefer to teach and support others. But today I want to share a little more of my story—because maybe you’ll see yourself in it.
Like many kids born in the ’80s, I grew up on pre-packaged meals, fast food, and vegetables from a can. It wasn’t that my family didn’t care about health—it was just a lack of awareness. That’s how things were back then. We didn’t talk about macronutrients or gut health. Food was just… convenient.
But at the same time, I grew up around people who valued being active. I went to the health club with my granddaddy and he taught me that we only get one body, and we should treat it with respect. My grandmama walked the track for her cardio. My dad went to the YMCA, my mom did workout videos on the Bowflex in our living room, and my aunt still walks or spins every day and does nightly calisthenics. I saw that taking care of your body was just part of life.
Still, I didn’t know how to feed myself well. In college, I gained weight—fast. I was eating entire bags of chips with jars of queso, polishing off cheese calzones with sugary juice, and making massive batches of Chex Mix just to finish them in one sitting. When I came home, my dad commented on my weight. It hurt. But now, I’m grateful for that moment, because it lit the first spark in my fat loss journey.
Thinness mattered. At least, that’s how it felt. Between the diet talk I heard from my mom and her sister, and the general tone of our culture, I learned early that being smaller was the goal. To this day, my aunt and I both do that thing where we poke at our lower bellies and talk about whether they feel “soft.” We weren’t necessarily eating the most nutrient-dense foods growing up, but portion control? That we knew.
And that shaped me.
In the early years of my fat loss journey, my focus was purely on being thin—and I wasn’t ashamed of that. I started this website as a blog where I’d share what I ate each day: usually about 1,400 calories. Back-to-back spin classes, yoga, even runs on top of all that were things I’d often post about. I was always chasing less.
Eventually, I shifted toward strength and muscle building. That’s when everything started to change. I started competing in CrossFit. Eating more to perform and recover was necessary. I let go of food tracking and began eating intuitively. That period helped me build a ton of muscle—something I still benefit from today. My metabolism is higher, and I can be more flexible with my food because of that hard-earned muscle.
Now, I’m no longer competing. I’m just living. And while I’m focused on my physique again, I’m also aware of my patterns. It would be easy for me to slip back into restriction. When life feels chaotic, food is the one thing I’ve always been able to control. But I’ve learned that being thinner doesn’t automatically mean being healthier—or happier.
I like having a lean physique. That’s just true for me. But I also like margaritas and cookies. And that means I have to find balance. That balance takes effort. It takes self-talk. It means reminding myself that I can’t cardio my way out of a night of fun, and I shouldn’t try. I’ve worked too hard for this muscle, and it supports my health in more ways than aesthetics ever could.
I do track my food most days, but not out of obsession. The data is helpful. I like knowing how to create a sustainable calorie deficit without cutting out the things I enjoy. Saturdays are my untracked days—I go out to eat, I have drinks, and I don’t stress about it. I also honor hunger when it shows up. I’ll eat more if I need to. And if I want to have fun mid-week, I do. I’m not in a prison of macros.
Another thing that’s helped me evolve is education. I’ve learned what real nourishment looks like. I know that beets support liver function and blood flow. Oregano is amazing for lung health. Berries provide fiber and antioxidants that help with digestion and aging. These are things I want to eat now. I also understand how inflammatory seed oils or excess sugar can mess with my blood sugar and even disrupt my sleep. That knowledge makes it easier to say yes to whole foods and no to junk—without guilt or restriction.
I genuinely love how good I feel when I eat to support my body. I respect my body, and I show that in the way I move, eat, and rest.
So, here’s where I land: I do love being lean. But I know I have to be mindful not to go too far. I have to keep checking in with myself. And the deeper I dive into what nourishment really means—mentally, emotionally, physically—the better I take care of myself.
If any part of this resonated with you… if you’ve ever struggled with balance, with food, with your body image… I want you to know I see you. And if you’re curious about how I could help you walk through that journey yourself, I’d love to chat. You don’t have to figure this out alone.
Your Coach,
Kyra