When I posted my first blog about the journey to my first powerlifting meet I had planned to compete on 9/26 in the USAPL. Well, here’s my update…
About two weeks out from the meet I decided to back out. Not because I felt ill prepared in my training – I wanted to just try it.. I didn’t have crazy weight goals to hit. But I backed out because my life kinda exploded.
See, in essentially an emergency situation I had to move into a crazy expensive apartment. After a couple of months it became more and more apparent that my living situation had to change. It didn’t allow me to live the way I want to live. I like to travel and live freely and not be burdened by an insane rent payment. So moving became my priority.
And as I type this, I do it from my new place…
I didn’t even know I was moving but I just started selling my stuff on Craigslist, preparing to get into a one bedroom apartment, because I believe if you act as if and you believe, the universe will give you want you want and need. And sure as the world, I got the exact apartment I wanted.
This also affected me competing at the Crush Games in Miami as well.
After the movers didn’t get my stuff to me until very late Wednesday night I was too mentally and physically drained to make the 4.5 hour drive to Miami to go compete. I wanted to.. I love Crossfit but everything in my body and mind said no. Not to mention that my sweet pup had to go through the stress of the move and I didn’t want to just leave him after going through the transition.
I am truly glad I let myself stay home. I even took all of this past week as a deload week to relax and get settled in. Plus there’s something else…
I want to preface this by saying, I love Crossfit. I love training. It is my life. But for at least the last year it became my life and I had little to no balance with it. It was my only outlet for a lot of frustration and it was my way of fulfilling a lot of aspects of my life that were very unfulfilled.
I was unhappy in my relationship and I was unhappy with myself but if I stayed focused on my personal fitness goals with Crossfit and improving as an athlete then it allowed me to not think about the things that I needed to change. Instead of thinking of becoming a more thoughtful, less selfish person I could spend my days thinking of how to get muscle ups or increase my clean and jerk.
But in the last month or so things have really changed. I’ve found fulfillment in doing things outside of the gym. I’m meditating regularly (I do this while I walk in the morning in Bayshore with Stringer), writing in my gratitude book daily and my mindset is so focused on the positive aspects of life.
I am finding enjoyment in working with my clients again. It may sound weird, but for a while there I really wasn’t happy coaching. But it makes sense.. when your cup isn’t full you don’t have anything to give people. And I tried.. I really did. But it wasn’t fulfilling for me there for a while and now it really is – more than ever even, and I truly believe this is going to bring me so much more success in the future, because I can treat people how they deserve to be treated and because I can care again.
And it feels weird talking about this in public but I’ve never held back before so why hold back now? I started seeing a guy… I really wanna keep a lot of this to myself, but he’s really nice to me and makes me feel amazing and happier than I’ve been in a long time.
For the first time in years I genuinely care about someone else’s happiness more than my own and i am willing to go out of my way for someone else and it’s a really cool feeling. I have a strong tendency to be selfish and I want to make sure that doesn’t get in my way and what’s even crazier is that I’m all in and that’s kinda scary to me. But if you want to truly feel all of the good stuff, you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable, and that’s something I haven’t done in a very long time.
So anyway, that’s my life lately. I am still following the Crossfit Conjugate workout routines. I’m goin’ with the flow on my eating and I am just enjoying life. I still have my goals – those aren’t going anywhere, but I am just enjoying my life and being happy.
Your Coach,
Kyra
P.S. Did you check out my last blog about training for my first powerlifting meet?
If not, check it out here:
https://kyrawilliamsfitness.com/journey-to-my-first-powerlifting-meet/